If there was a name for each week out of the year, this week would be called “wtfmusic week”. The Spies are no exception.

The Spies fall into that category I mentioned not-so-long ago where they are playing music that sounds fun to play but I wouldn’t necessarily want to listen to it. Check it out.

You might want to check out something with better quality… check it out here.

It’s all solid. The band, the vocals, the production. There isn’t anything technically wrong with the playing or the musicianship. There isn’t really much wrong with these guys other than the genre choice. These guys would probably be some of the best go-to studio musicians if you were to need house musicians for anything. In fact, the album itself would be great in a muzak setting (a bar, a rockin’ coffee shop, a loud street corner, etc).

The music has been played. Each one of these songs is a composite of some combination of songs before… and although that sounds dumb because all music today is a composite of songs before, this band takes it a step further than just “mediocre”. It’s more along the lines of lifeless. That’s a little cold, but there is no personality in this music. I can’t hear it. It’s like I said before, this sure seems fun to play but I would not want to play this kind of music for longer than a band practice session.

For these guys, I truly wish they find something less generic and more interesting. I get the Spoon vibe at times but it doesn’t leave a nice taste. It’s more of a hint of Spoon and a whole lot of old school rock mixed with pop-sounding keyboards mixed in. At times it’s grimy in a good way and at other times it’s grimy in a bad way. I could see these guys dropping the pop and kicking up the experimental sound to make something wild. I could even see these guys adding more instrumentation if they wanted to get more elaborate. At this point, anything will help.

I won’t spend too much time fluffing this album up. I seriously can’t stand it.

This came through my mailbox earlier this month and was recommended as “energetic indie pop from The Netherlands”. I gave it a chance. I seriously did.

Her voice is good. No need for post-production magic for her. That’s the only plus it seems.

The lyrics are completely shallow. She bounces from the topical idea of taking her once-lover’s money to self-loathing hate as she talks about being single and a part from her once-lover (most likely different people, if they even exist). The music is something you could consider “stock jams”. When you buy DAW programs or musical production software, the instrumentals on this album would most likely be the instrumentals you would find as the demo music for those programs. The indie-rock, as she describes it, is very generic and probably would be in a hit in some European country lacking western pop/rock artists. Unfortunately, this is an indie music reviews website… and you’re up against indie-rock like Fang Island and The American Dollar.

It’s easy to see through production studio bullshit, especially when they don’t even try to hide it within some vapid experimental indie-pop soundscape. This was pretty unfortunate since she has a decent voice… but after this album, she is more likely to win a karaoke competition than a big record deal. Hope you like music more than money because at this rate you’ll spend yourself dry with all that studio time you’re booking.

Smoosh, once girls now young ladies, have been an on-going work-in-progress since their inception in 2004. Since their very older-than-their-age-of-10 release in 2004, fans seem to have been looking for the next step from innocent indie-pop to something… bigger. Maybe bigger isn’t the best word, but even if that were the case… they seem to have stunted their own growth.

Withershins, the third album from the sisters, has this very indie and very stereotypical sound to it. One could say it is what CocoRosie should have done with their latest album this year. Another could say these girls could have done something a little more interesting.

Like a high-ceiling NFL draft prospect, these girls have much to look forward to. Hell, anyone pretty much wishes they were in these girls’ position at the age of 14 (now 18, 16, and 14). The musical ability of these girls are impressive, and the album itself should be a testament to how much these girls can roll with even the most seasoned of indie-pop acts.

The music genre: bland. The sound coming from this album: not surprising. The anticipation of four years for this album to come out: mostly a let down. It’s tough to be hard on these girls, since they are so young and they are of that age where the cool music to listen to is exactly the music they are producing, but when some wack ass magazine gives these girls a 9/10 because all their songs follow a “traditional indie pop” sound and their age is a “bonus”, it really tears me to bits. The music is lame. Joanna Newsom is the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of artists who are trying to edge their way outside of this indie-pop conundrum. Owen Pallett is another. These girls are caught in a tidal wave and will either be dragged out to sea, drowned, or washed up to shore unless they jump into another pool soon. And hopefully sooner than later.

Although this would have been mind blowing in the early 2000s, this is just more of the same for a dynamic time for indie music. The musicianship is there. The chemistry is there. Everything is there so long as they want it to be there (aka never going to college). They are queens without a country. I never suggest reinventing yourself as an artist, but expanding on your initial high-ceiling value is always necessary. As far as Withershins is concerned, I seriously would never recommend this. And, with the age-kicker, I hope these girls find a new home soon.

Usually, starting out with something that targets a specific group of readers is not good… but imagine this: have you ever been in a situation where you see a band rocking out and you think to yourself that’d be fun to play but I don’t think I’d want to play like that all the time? Maybe something less targeting… have you ever been in any situation where you think to yourself this is fun, but I don’t think I could do this all the time? It’s a weird gray area where it’s enjoyable but not mind blowing. I take it you know where I’m going with this…

Matt Stevens’ newest album Echo brings a handful of great things to the table. For one, almost all instrumental acoustic guitar for ten songs that equals to a little more than half an hour. Second, there is much prowess from the guitarist’s skill set. Think Latin style guitar playing with an eclectic influence list to help infuse the sound with. Armed with a guitar and an idea in mind, Matt Stevens really goes in for the kill with his album.

Check out the entire album below!

Here’s him playing the first track of the album live!

Impressive. Not many guitarists are so in tune to their personal sound and style to be able to produce ten songs so solid in their make up. Every song is just another elaboration of what Stevens is really all about. Mostly Latin influenced with a touch of jazz and rock, Stevens tries to let it all hang out there. I can speak for many people when I say that it is albums like this that make me more inspired to write songs. If anything, this is great muse music, whether it’s studying for an exam or wanting to write songs. I would be surprised if someone listened to this album and didn’t want to pick up a guitar and jam for a bit.

Sadly one dimensional. Most of these songs sound like instrumental demos waiting to be filled out with something more. The guitar work is great, don’t get me wrong… but the first song is more of a swan song than the intro to a ten song adventure. Each song seems to just blend together. Not to be rash, but this is the same taste left in my mouth after listening to a pop album of some sort. The first song is most likely what the other songs sound like. This album didn’t seem like that, but ended up that way. A very niche group of avid instrumental music listeners would consider this enjoyable but not exceptional. For the rest of us, similar sentiments… but as an album, the word boring comes to mind.

This might be one of the most heart-breaking reviews I’ve had. Although I personally enjoyed this album for it’s muse-like abilities, I can’t necessarily recommend this album above and beyond the cry of the indie scene. The music itself is a jam album between a man and his instrument. It’s good, but it isn’t mind blowing, ground breaking, or necessarily even current for what the scene is offering as of late. If there was something a little more interesting than just acoustic guitar shredding for thirty minutes, I might have been more inclined to give this album a thumbs up. There’s only so much light cajon-esque drumming and a Latin style guitar can get you over the span of 30 minutes. Honestly, this was something I’d have cross my desk as a producer for an album rather than an album considered “review ready”. So, as much as I personally think this is a good album for specific things, the heart breaker is that this album isn’t necessarily good for progressing the instrumental indie music scene forward in any way. With that, unfortunately…

P.S. Since I do feel some remorse for Matt Stevens, I’d like to let everyone know that his band, The Fierce and the Dead, is actually something very interesting along the lines of post-rock. Check it out below! (Also, if you want to get into the gooey of the song, it starts getting intense around 6:40. But if you fast forward through a post-rock song then it wouldn’t be post-rock, amirite???)

Who better to play with than your relatives? Meg and Dia do it. The Brady Bunch? Jackson 5? Van Halen? My loves Tegan and Sara? Usually, it’s not too difficult to find yourself playing with the people closest to you. CocoRosie, a duo of sisters, have found themselves existing in this world for… well… years. Their past albums have been very mixed as far as reception and reviews go. It seems as if you either hate these sisters or you love them. Does Grey Oceans change anyone’s opinions?

First off, this album cover for their latest album really doesn’t make me want to buy this album at all. It’s like a cotton-Smurf jizzed all over these poor, poor girls. I won’t mention the awkward facial hair, since some people are into that. And that’s okay with me (right Maxi?). I would have to be blind or something if I were the photographer taking these pictures for their album, however. I would most likely be dying of laughter. I might not even be able to get into a car with these girls, with the fear of laughing so hard that I’d crash. Also, using medieval porno font will only attract the weirdest of dudes to listen to this. Whatever scene is going over in Paris right now, I’d be pretty afraid to walk into a live show if these two were headlining. Whether that is a compliment or not… I don’t know. I suppose taking how you will. Take this track off their album as you will as well:

Every here and there are cute parts in songs that are seemingly fun and matching the weirdness of the album cover. Mostly, however, is an ethereal vocally-led album with strange loops and instrumentation. Someone in the band is an accomplished pianist. Someone else in the band has a great capacity of writing quality riffs. I believe the pros end at that.

Near unlistenable. That’s not a word, but this isn’t music. Half of the songs are mediocre, in the vein of something like Bat for Lashes, the xx, and Joanna Newsom. Flashes of piano love are shattered by crappy drum loops. I’d say a good word to sum this up is boring. Not quirky enough to find a niche in my heart. Too much like all these other quirky artists to be remotely original. Through their strangeness is just… strangeness. No underlying tone of genius or entertainment. Just strange. And any girl who grows out a mustache and sits on a piano in a costume made of fabric squares could potentially not mimic… not cover… but clone CocoRosie. So girls, listen up. You can be a clone of CocoRosie if you wish. If you think you’re getting close to looking like them, you’ve probably already became them and are now going overboard.

No. I wouldn’t even bargain bin this album.

Where do I begin…

Here We Go Magic seems to be a former solo project turned band. The lo-fi music meets passive vocals means one thing to me: scenester love. That doesn’t necessarily make that insta-good or insta-bad does it? …..

Progressive and lo-fi. That’s what the scene is all about right now. What better way to enjoy it than to exploit it? Here We Go Magic seems to be a contender to wear the indie crown, and the music itself is worthy of being called music. Is it fair that they can dethrone such acts as the xx and jj? I’d say so, since one single front man has recruited musicians to play with him rather than warp his band mates into a lo-fi machine.

Some might say this band is what you call “scene saturation”. In any good thing there will be copycats. Many of these copycats enjoy their copycatting time together and leave after a check is cut. Peyton Manning is noted for studying Tom Brady and his no-huddle offense style to confuse strange looking defenses. Many quarterbacks in the NFL are adopting this change-of-pace offense style to keep defenses vulnerable. Of course, at some point, a counter to this change-of-pace offense will be found. Much like that of the scene. Get enough people playing the exact same music for long enough, one of these people will break out and find the next scene to innovate. The con here is being a water molecule in an ocean. Or maybe, more bluntly, a scenester lo-fi indie-pop band in a whirlwind of scenester lo-fi indie-pop bands. The appeal is that you are another outlet for those who like you. How about all those who don’t like this scene? There are many looking for something different. Think hair metal in the early 90s. It seemed to sell well… until grunge surfaced. Many dropped the hair metal thing instantly because it was just something to be into until the next “in” thing was available. The lo-fi, uninspiring, scenester pit of palmade and leg warmers seems to be a hold-over until something with some sort of real substance. I’m not saying these bands have no spine… I’m just saying these bands have something more to play for when the scene switches gears soon.

Too harsh on hipster music? I don’t think so. I believe that there is not much here as far as musical creativity goes. Instrumentals are “lo-fi”, but in my own opinion it is just lazy. There are all these indie-folk and guitar-pop people hanging around this scene that people love. Why would you drop your love for instrumentation for this single-note jam stuff? It makes no real sense in my mind. Overall, there is no instrumental value in this genre. Lyrically this band hits upon decent themes. The singer is not over-the-top enough to carry himself as a “vocalist”. Much rather, he is a “singer/songwriter” whose voice is “meh” at best. That seems to be the current way things are going. I believe the saying is something like “too many chefs spoils the broth”. There is a point in time where too many bands in a certain genre begins to wear on us listeners. A turning point should be now. Here is a dagger to begin.

Mr. Bordello, aka Eugene Hutz, and crew have been writing music and playing this gypsy punk thing for over a decade now. It’s fun, carefree, sing-a-long-y type music that can seemingly be played by either Mr. Hutz himself or his band of nine or more members. The intensity in the vocals and music can only ultimately be summed up as a mating call of some sort for other insane, mostly drunk, people to get rowdy. Sounds fun to me. But tolerable?

The live show seems to be what is worth it. At first, nine people on stage playing some form of rock music reminds me too much of Slipknot or other copycat killers… but seemingly, the stage isn’t filled with random dudes who are just running around like gypsies. Turns out these guys can actually play their instruments live. The crowd, as you can see in the video, is a different story. I was literally expecting the exact opposite — a shit show on stage and arm crossers from the front to back. But I suppose if you’ve been playing the same exact music for over ten years, you’ll groom your live show fans accordingly.

If you can get pass the idea that this music is anywhere near serious, you’re left with nine people jamming careless gypsy-punk. And that is awesome. The album itself doesn’t sway from the standard Gogol Bordello style. Compared to anything else I’ve ever heard from these guys, this album is just another set of songs from an endless pool. To be frank, I was hoping for a little more kick from the legendary Rick Rubin on this album. Gogol Bordello has that chemistry and kick to it that only the sum of vocals and instruments can create, and Gogol Bordello does it to a T. Maybe it would be interesting to hear what the demos from this new album were like?

More of the same is just that. This album is long: 13 songs, 53-minutes long, and vocally an acquired taste. This would be something along the lines of a Stephen Hawking lecture. Somewhere close to an hour long, never strays from the topic at hand, and vocally… well, you know all about The Hawk’s voice. Think of this for an hour (or just watch the entire hour of it)

The knock is partially on the vocals for Gogol Bordello, but more in the planning of the album. The vocals are a love/hate relationship. At times, amazing. At other times, jarring. Overall, I’m happy that Eugene is the front man and voice of the band, but as far as an album is concerned… I would have much rather heard one of two things over this album: either multiple releases that were shorter, only lasting twenty minutes at most, or an actual concept behind these set of songs. The full length is great if you can captivate your audience for that long. I’m sure die hard fans would enjoy this album. People like me, passerbys in the musical universe, have trouble swallowing the lengthy process it seems to become when listening to this album. As an avid listener of music, full lengths should be saved for a bigger theme to explore. This Trans-Continental Hustle doesn’t explore that big picture. Rather, smaller and less emphasized pictures that become forgettable and small-framed. Exploration next time would help a lot.

Fun, but long. Entertaining, but exhausting. The good with the bad, I can honestly say I’d have an entertaining time at a show… but it’d be harder for me to stay entertained with this album on my play list. More of the same doesn’t explore the further elements of this ten-year long project from the gypsy-punkers. As far as new music is concerned, this nichey music pigeonholes itself — but for all to enjoy. Enjoy with caution.

I just got back from KFC with Ryan Tamborski (one of the other owners of 402 Productions) and had a Double Down. I decided that it was so… life changing that I’d review it.

So, if you haven’t heard (and I know you have), the Double Down is basically a double chicken sandwich with bacon and with no bun. If you haven’t seen the rip-off Mac commercial that they shot for this thing… here you go:

I’m full.

The way to eat it, as depicted by the commercial and by default, is by just grabbing the wrapper and going for it. This proves annoying, so I resorted to just man-handling this thing. First off is the oily slick you get on your fingers. It’s kind of like the feeling you get when you wipe sweat off your forehead on a hot day. Think of that, but touching food and then eating that same food. The cheese, which was supposedly pepper jack, was more like white American cheese with colored specks dusted around the cheese. The secret sauce, aptly named “Colonel’s Sauce”, was more of a way to disguise the spicy tang you were supposed to be getting from the cheese. Rather than spicy, it was more tart and mayonnaise-tasting. The bacon itself was just run-of-the-mill microwave-tasting bacon. Not crispy, soggy from the mayo-ish sauce, and salty. The chicken itself was moist, but was way too much chicken. It was like eating a sandwich that has too much bread… except instead of that bread taste that drys your mouth out, it’s a oily, greasy, breaded chicken breast that fills your mouth. Between these two filets are the soggy, wet, and flavorless taste of cheese, bacon, and sauce. About half way through was enough for most regular human beings with no souls, but I am no regular soulless human. I have to be sub-human and have negative soul. I owe soul to the world. If I ever gained soul, it’d just set me back to soulless. And if you finish one of these, which I did, you too are negative souled. At the end, the tastes that lingered the most were the breading from the chicken (mostly a salty taste), a filmy taste from the processed cheese, and an almost jerky taste from the bacon (yet again, salty). Texture wise, it was nothing like eating an oversized chicken nugget. It was more like eating over-salted Shake ‘n’ Bake chicken, let it sit for a day, and microwave it together with some processed cheese and tough bacon. Oh wait, that’s kind of like what it was. Oh wait… that is what it was.

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People who would like this: ideally, no one. In actuality, people who are really high. There is no way you can be sober and enjoy this. The flavors are impossible to like. The sauce makes it almost sour tasting. Intoxication of some sort would make this a great food. However, KFC’s Double Down is more pricey than something off of Taco Bell’s menu. This is definitely not “bang for you buck” from KFC. It’s bang. But in the end you feel cheated. Other people who would like this: people who want to play pranks on people. Buy this and make someone eat it. It’s a good prank because afterward you can always point and laugh at the friend you have who ate the Double Down.

On a side note, try eating this in a secluded place like… your room with your lights off or a closet. Being seen eating this is the scarlet letter of fast food.

If this were an album, this would not get anywhere near close to good. So, in the spirit of my other reviews…

Maybe one of the more overlooked bands of the past decade, Matt Pond and his group is kind of like Ben Folds of the indie scene. Some might remember this guy from shows where he was the supporting act for some other headlining band. Some might remember one of their last seven albums, six of which were released in the past decade. I last heard of these guys after seeing them play with Straylight Run years ago. I bought their album Several Arrows Later and loved the sound. And now?

matt pond PA has this lovely lyrical being to the music. Sometimes, throughout this new album, Mr. Pond totally sells me his stories. I am in there experiencing what he is. There is nothing simplistic about the way he’s talking about very simple things: girls, love, sex, etc. But since the last time I heard matt pond PA, I asked myself whether or not this album is exceeding my expectations. And I don’t know if it has. It has wowed me with words. But I really am off with the music, maybe?

Lyrically, you know by now, it’s grand. I won’t continue on about the lyrics, so just listen to them. For a current music vibe, this album harps upon exactly what is out there right now. This usually is a con, but matt pond PA doesn’t seem to have made many strides towards a different sound outside of their own… and they’ve been around since 1998… so here we are twelve years later and his sound is still current for the scene. In that is a pro all on it’s own.

What’s different between matt pond PA that I knew back in 2005? Not much. And that’s not just me. Typing in “matt pond PA” into YouTube comes up with a lot more hits for their songs off their seemingly-most popular album Several Arrows Later. That’s not to say YouTube is a credible source… but matt pond PA isn’t putting all those songs and videos from their five year old album on one of the most popular sites in the world. Fans are. And fans love that album. But what has matt pond PA accomplished with this new album? More of the same. And even less of the same. Back in 2005, with their other album, they never road along in someone else’s bandwagon. This new album seems to dive into some of the stale-indie folk rhythms for songs, making an ill taste in my mouth since this band could probably do a zillion times better than what they’ve put out this new year. There are flashes of brilliance musically, with songs like “Running Wild” and “Brooklyn Fawn”, but are sometimes cancelled out by the cheap vibe of “Specks” and “Sparrows”. Here’s a football analogy: Peyton Manning had two rookie wide receivers in Austin Collie and Pierre Garcon. Absolutely none of his offensive linemen were first round draft choices. So, Peyton Manning is basically what took the Colts to the Super Bowl. Without him, and we all saw the games they lost when he wasn’t playing, they lacked production. That’s a lot like matt pond PA. Lyrically, this album soars. Everything surrounding the lyrics and vocals is just second place. Without the lyrics and vocals, this band’s music would be lacking heavily. Although, vocals do have a premium on casual listeners (much like the quarterback of a Super Bowl team), the supporting cast of music and arrangement should at least make an attempt to match the genius of it’s vocal counterpart.

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People who would like this: people who live in Brooklyn. Others who would like this: die-hard mpPA fans.

As “The Dark Leaves Theme” from this album chants… it kills me to admit that this is a bad album. I swear it started out strong  and begged a potential breakthrough yet again. But lyrically was the hull and lacking of musical creativity half way through the album was the iceberg. I won’t say mpPA is sinking, because they haven’t really done much to be considered a “bad” band… but I won’t say they are making any positive strides with this album. More of the same of what is out there, and less of the same matt pond PA that I heard five years ago. This album is worth the listen for the lyrics… but for everything else?

When I was in high school, a teacher of mine named Mr. Yaeger would hand us our books and tell us, “Now, before you read anything about this book… what can you infer from just the cover/art work/title/etc?” Being a disciple of his studies, I try to take his approach to albums as well. Usually, I’ll start with the title name. The Last Place You’ll Look. Not to be confused with the last place I recently looked in (which would physically be my car [and would virtually be my external hard drive]), the question does arise… where is that last place I’ll look? As I begin to ponder this question, the album begins and ends and Mr. Yaeger is somewhere out there proud of his accomplishment.

The first place I thought of when listening to The Last Place You’ll Look was my friend Sebastian’s old dorm room. That’s where I first heard Beirut. Before that, I could remember listening to some old bootleg Tim Kasher recordings of what would end up being songs from Album of The Year. Then I thought of some Bon Iver and Rachael Cantu and a ton of other artists that We Were Promised Jetpacks reminded me of.

Then I came to this odd realization that the last place I would look for an album like this would be behind all of these other albums I’ve heard before this one that sounds similar but are for some reason “better”. Dissecting the tracks, instrument for instrument, strum for strum, leads me to the conclusion that piecing these songs together the way We Were Promised Jetpacks pieced them together isn’t necessarily the wisest decision. Sure, I’ll give them the fact that this is the music to their personal Last Place soundtrack, but as the title suggests… this album might be the last album you’ll find from this genre, and not in a good way.

Portraying the sounds from this album in the scape of the last place I’d ever look in my life is an interesting notion. The album itself lets a lot to the imagination when themed in such a way. The songs themselves take on more of an apocalyptic tone when you apply such ideas, and thinking of these songs in that way is maybe not necessarily the way the songs themselves were written. Some songs, such as “Short Bursts”, on the second and third listen take on different poetic meanings. At first, literal meanings would be appropriate to envision. At other times, maybe the story of the song extends out to that last place these guys might look. At other times, maybe just the mood is the last feeling I’ll have in that last place described. With that, the biggest pro for this album is the appropriately themed album with an appropriate title. They aren’t cheating me out of meaning, and that in itself is a lot more meaningful than a lot of the music being shoved out there. I mean, if Weezer can get away with Rainn Wilson naming their last album Raditude for no reason other than “Rad” plus “Attitude”, then I would hope the antithesis of mainstream pop would come up with something slightly more meaningful. In doing so, We Were Promised Jetpacks delivers rhythms and rhymes that mean much more to me than much of the crap out there, and I haven’t even looked in the last place I would have looked yet.

Lyrics and themes and all these things are really nice… if only the music didn’t flatline. I’m talking doorknob dead. How many times can these indie bands rewrite their own albums over and over again? Is it just me or am I just not inspired in writing the same songs again? I really don’t find the music captivating. At times, brilliance… but at those same times, I find myself reaching back in that external hard drive and pulling out other songs that remind me of the same brilliant parts that WWPJ have written. Most other times, I’m tired of it. Luckily, five songs isn’t enough to warrant a complete lashing of creativity, so I’ll just leave it at that. Another big con I had was variance. It’s the same sort of variance I got from TV on the Radio on first listen. Even then, impressive but didn’t leave an impression like it could have. To this day, I don’t understand why people enjoy TV on the Radio as much as they do. To TV on the Radio’s credit, no one is doing what they are doing musically. Not so much for We Were Promised Jetpacks, but the same ends applies… don’t you just get bored with this unvaried music?

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People who would like this album: boring people. People who would be better off as writers of novellas than of albums. People who are sick of post-rock and want to zone out to some background drone music with lyrics. Other people who would like this: those kind of people who end up reading a majority of a book at the bookstore in those comfy chairs before even thinking of buying the book.

The album is good for the concept… but the music is what we buy albums for. And I can’t just keep giving out “Good Album” ratings to these albums who are just uninspiring writers. It breaks down like this: if you aren’t changing my mind positively about the music you perform, why would I listen to your album again? And if I don’t, then how is it a good album?

You can moonwalk, but you aren’t Michael Jackson.