by Adam Finley
Editor’s note: This letter was received yesterday at the 402 corporate office (aka Nick Wan’s kitchen). Please note, no grammar or spelling was altered for the sake of coherency. Polar Bear does what the fuck Polar Bear wants!
Hey Yo, Party People!
It’s tha F-to-tha-D, Mr Fred Durst, also known as Polar Bear, throwin you homies a shout out for all yr support of Gold Cobra. It’s the BEST FUCKING THING I ever did, and I wrote “Rollin’” so I should know.
Heres a little knowledge up in your ears. I’m quittin’ the rap game 4ever to become a poet. Oh, u didn’t know? Rap game’s played out! Poetry is tha shit, and if u pay attention then u know I been a poet for, like, a long ass time. MY SHIT DONT EVEN RHYME!!!!
I’m givin’ ya’ll the exclusive, and I took a few lines from Gold Cobra and made them into poems, just to show ya’ll what I mean. I even put PICTURES with sum of them for my fans that dont read good. Fuck, I even wrote HAIKU– those are Asian poems if you muthafuckas didn’t know. Reflectin’ the forms of nature and shit.
Check-Check it out!
Editor’s note: What followed was a series of stained pieces of paper that smelled suspiciously of bong water, with poems, crude drawings (some too crude to post) and handwritten notes.
First one’s called Deep Shit. CUZ THIS SHIT IS DEEP!
Down in a hole there are so many ways
to find yourself some light
take some time to breathe
Swimming with sharks ain’t easy
There’s only one king on this hill
What it is is what it is
My heart is true, it’s just the way I live
And that’s the way that life moves on,
Givin’ hope like Obama
Most people never find a way
but we gonna rock this motherfucker all night long,
somewhere in outer space
shining like a diamond.
This next one’s for my homeland. I call it N-2ThaMuthaFuckin-C NORTH CAROLIIIINA:
Growin’ up without a cause
A redneck who never had a dollar
Rollin’ up in third gear,
There ain’t nothing wrong with that
North Carolina is my homeland
and if I run away I’ll always end up here
Here’s some haiku, dropped for dat ass! Bow to the power of the Asian poetry flower!
#1
Angels over me
in love for eternity
you freaky bitches
#2
Sound of a shotgun
Broken hearts and broken dreams
in my own Cobain
#3
It’s the pirate pimp
You heard of Freddy Kruger?
You need a new neck
#4
The outlaw white dog
a cacky-lacky mofo
Go get your girlfriend
#5
Gimmie the funky
let me get that party song.
Wikipedia
You can’t even handle it! Let me get one for the haters. It’s called Break Stuff Pt. 2 (Break Haters)
Pennies get plucked from your eyelids, get that
I’m gonna sink your ship so fast
rip your shit like a slasher scene
crack your spleen,
you get robbed like a zombie
Eat you alive, got that punk?
Eat you like the plague
Slice your shit like bacon
I’m spittin’ out flames
Put another stain on your teeth
fuck with me and you’ll fry, ooo yeah
shit in your motherfucking underwear
throwin matches on the gas,
turn you to toast
You’re gonna die
Kill that motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
With a knife!
Crystal Ball is for when yr depressed like you run out of tortillas or get dumped. I get depressed too, sometimes. What, tha Big Bad Wolf can’t cry too? If you wanna hate, you can read that last poem AGAIN!
They see me cry!
They see me cry!
All our friends said we had it made
I can’t escape the tragedy
Feelin’ like you’re really that invincible
When I dream, I see your face
Holdin’ the gold, it’s so gold, it’s so golden.
All your homies coming hard, looking in my cage
This ain’t about rage, it’s about disrespect
Feels like I’m losing all I ever had
Remember all them 90′s things?
BRING IT BACK!
Holdin’ the gold, it’s so gold, it’s so golden.
Im on some next level deepness with this last one. Its so fuckin deep IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A TITLE!!!
And that’s the way the night rain flows
Chainsaw starting up at the crack of dawn
Better lock all your doors and shut the house down
you insecure gorillas
Everyone goes through a brawl
Wakin up aggravated
Pour me up another double shot of the crown
Reality will leave you feeling terrible
Lay that motherfucker on the curb
Go get your girlfriend
Back in the days there was ways
Dropping vengeance upon your back
Most people never last this long.
Yeah, Who’s the champ? Yeah.
Let’s go
Let’s go
Let’s go
Let’s go
That’s it ya’ll. The exclusive. I did this shit for the love. 402, you da best. Now, back to the poem lab! I’m out! Remember– RESPECT THA BIZKIT!!!
–FD
