Comcast: My own personal Hell
Oh, how I hate you so...
To all readers, whether it’s new or old, into music or into ranting about Comcast, I hope this never happens to you. In fact, for this not to happen to you, please resort to any other means other than Comcast. A company that prides itself on customer relations and a home service has never been so backwards in my opinion.
This all started last week around Wednesday or Thursday. I got the keys to my new place and I wanted Comcast to be there when I moved in. Of course, that was wishful thinking since they are usually booked to the teeth a week in advance and I was moving in on Sunday. In any case, I decided to jump into the Comcast fray yet again. I have had Comcast in two previous dwellings before and most recently at my parents’ home. Needless to say, I was well versed in the Comcast fiasco of waiting on the phone or chatting to people via their live chat support. I did have hope that Comcast got better, now reinventing their line of products as “Xfinity” and the “Triple, Double, or Single Play” options. Maybe they also reinvented themselves as a reliable source for internet and TV in general.
This was not the case.
As I was chatting to this guy via their live chat feature about my installation appointment, he was trying to upsell me these other products Comcast provides. Of course, that’s his job… but what he failed to mention to me were the important aspects of my actual installation appointment. Such as: 1) how many TVs will need to be hooked up? 2) Are there outlets for all the TVs? 3) Are these TVs HDTV’s? 4) How many HDTV’s are there? …the list goes on, I’m sure. In any case, he says I’m ready to go and that my appointment is in the book. So I’m happy, I suppose.
I get an email saying that my date for my installation has be confirmed. A minute later I received an email saying that it was cancelled. A few minutes after that it was yet again confirmed. Confused, I assumed the date and time was ready to go…
Thursday rolls around and in anticipation for the guy being here on time (10am), I wake up and get ready. After sitting around for about thirty minutes for the guy to show up, I nod off back to bed… Only to be awakened by a phone call. Was it the Comcast guy??! Not at all. Just a friend asking if I was in town. At this point, it was noon. The installation window was supposed to be between 10am and 12pm. I go on the site to see if they have any answers for me, and Comcast’s customer service says that it is occasional that the installation window may need some forgiveness since every job an installer is assigned isn’t necessarily peg-holed into a specific time frame. Okay, whatever. The availability of the window was actually between 8am – 12pm with an asterisk. The asterisk denoted “*hours subject to availability” or some horse shit like that. Of course, this wasn’t known to me until I was confirmed for 10am. As if I supposedly said “YEAH, 10 AM SOUNDS GREAT! WAAAY BETTER THAN 8 AM!”.
Some dude rolls through about thirty minutes late (even though I believe he was technically two hours and thirty minutes late [or even more technically four hours and thirty minutes late since I never agreed to 10am being the initial start time]) smelling of tobacco and huffing and puffing as he carried some box filled with Comcast toys. I tell him what’s up: three TVs, the one in the living room gets the premium crap, and the modem goes into my room. He nods and starts it up. As he’s crawling around my living room he asks me for “more power”. So I scrounge up a power strip and hand it to him. Then he asks me for a TV. So I scrounge up the TV in my room for him to set stuff up on. He gets the jam working and everything seems as if this Comcast thing is going to work out fine. I ask about the other three boxes and he explains that the work order is only for one. I tell him I was never prompted with anything describing to me how many TVs I should have receivers for. He says that he has an extra one in his truck and that “we’ll go from there…” And boy, did we.
He comes into my room, a room with no cable outlets, and says to me, “we usually need consent to drill through walls from the owner… and I’m assuming you’re renting. But, if you toss me $15 then I can totally drill a hole through the wall and keep this hush hush.” I asked if there was any other way to do it and he said to me that the only other way is to not have my room set up and to just wait for Comcast to roll around again to set my room up on some other date. Perplexed, I went along with the idea. Which is when he tells me, “I have to go next door to fix up another place. But I’ll be back in an hour. Will you be here?” And I said yes, since this is my #1 priority. Unfortunately for me, it seems as if this dude played me.
As I walk outside to lock up my place, I noticed the half smoked cigarette my Comcast installer left on my door step. Great showmanship. I start walking out to pick up some stuff for dinner and that $15 that guy wants to drill a hole into my wall. I get back and start watching some TV on the one room this guy has installed. One hour rolls by. Then minutes tick away. I start timing things in commercial breaks. About four commercial breaks later, I notice it is now two hours after he said he’d be back. Completely at a loss, I get back on my computer and type up Comcast’s live support again. Of course, I explain what’s up to them and they don’t seem to understand that a dude just came in, installed some Comcast stuff in one room, and never installed the last room or the modem in the room or even drilled into my fucking wall illegally and under-handed a deal for some lunch money. Assuming that this poor customer service representative was doing the best he (or she) could from whatever outsourced country he (or she) was from, I get a call from “Jeff” the Comcast guy who was just at my place. I’m guessing my ruckus incited the customer service guy to call the local branch here to call “Jeff’s” supervisor, in order to call me to tell me Hey bruh, I didn’t forget about you. They sent me out here to do something that took longer that I thought. I’ll be by in about 10 to 15 minutes though. Fat fucking chance. I keep talking to the poor CSR guy about how to get someone here today to finish installing all my crap. All this guy could offer me was that third receiver box to be shipped to me. THAT’S NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM, MAN. I NEED COMCAST TO SET MY SHIT UP BECAUSE I AM NOT A COMCAST INSTALLER!! In any case, he processes some order to me. About thirty minutes after that dude calls me to let me know he’s coming in 10 minutes, he shows up. He drills the hole in about 3 seconds and sets all the crap up in about 5 minutes. You really needed to do someone else’s house to fix or install shit when it really only took you 5 minutes to finish mine? He tells me to go to the local office and request another receiver for my place since the work order only had me down for one. I tell him, “I suppose” and ask if he wants to square up over the $15. He says, “yeah man, all I have is a $1 or a $100 though…” wrong fucking answer buddy. The right one should have been, “Ah, it’s cool. I put you on ice for over two hours. Sorry for the wait! Enjoy!” and take your nasty smoke smell with you. I throw him $20 and tell him to keep it. Get the fuck out.
Everything seems to be going fine and dandy until I start to configure my internet. I’ve hooked up wireless networks before and none came to as hard as what this came down to. I finally get it all up and running when the internet decides to blow out on me. Every hour or so, my modem stops working. No internet. No access. At times, it doesn’t even recognize that I’m sending packets from my computer at all. I get on the Comcast site again. After a good hour, the CSR girl tells me that anything from streaming videos to playing online games can affect my connection. Well shit. I guess that means “STOP PLAYING GAMES AND WATCHING YOUTUBE YOU FUCKING FOOL” doesn’t it? Way to go, “Anika”. This person runs some “troubleshooting” things on their end to ensure to me that my connection has improved. They mention every now and then that my modem might be defective. Yet again, completely confused… since I’ve been up waiting for these guys since 10am and it is now about 1 am the next morning. All “Anika” has for me is that the connection should be up and running for now and if the problem persists, take it in. Oh great. Let’s fucking DRIVE my ass to some hell hole where every one is angry, WAIT IN LINE until some unknowing part-timer gives me the third degree, RETURN the shit that just got installed in my apartment, and HOPE that the shit they give me in return works. Are you fucking serious???
As I type this, my internet connection troubleshooting with Anika was successful… for about 20 minutes. Since then, it has now been about two hours straight and my modem is not getting any internet connection at all. None whatsoever. It’s to the point where it says it isn’t sending any information from my computer. I write this to you from my laptop, stealing my neighbors’ internet to post this.
P.S. As if in some sick, Comcast-esque Saw film, my internet connection has come on. Woe is me.
